and i end up saying the first thing in my mouth- which is the stupidest/weirdest, heartless, crass, it just takes me ages to come out of the whole thing. this kind
what is th epoint?? why do any of these things?? it's like one meeting with him just completely makes me lose any equilibrium i may have attained. i've made a resolution, dammit.

and we didn't even speak too much, during which i again made a complete and utter fool of myself. it's so incredibly amazing. this is just so fucking insane. i mean, if i can't even hold a decent conversation with him in public, where do i stand a chance


This is a brief conversation i had with myself the day of the reunion. Parts of it. I just read it over again, and even I was surprised at the general level of incoherency. Now that the dust has settled, I think it's better if I keep my head down. And never, ever see him again.